Five Hundred Twenty Five Thousand Six Hundred Minutes

Owens Ice Star - Lake Michigan Shoreline 12/25/2010 ~ With Love Mom & Dad

     Twenty-Ten brought great sorrow, many tears that will seep into the New Year, and memories that I will forever cling to. For no new ones will be made. Believing for a moment in ever-afters, a bit of sci-fi, and movie magic, let us say I was visited by a future self. Forewarning me of the year I was to face. I can say, without doubt, I would have endured it all over again to share those four months with our Owen. Every minute with him was a counted blessing. In miracles, in peeping eyes, in diaper changes, and cute hats - in pinky holds, in a smile or two, in endless hours of snuggles, and blessings - this is how I measure my year.

“Five hundred twenty five thousand
six hundred minutes
Five hundred twenty five thousand
moments so dear
Five hundred twenty five thousand
six hundred minutes
How do you measure, measure a year
In daylight, in sunsets, in midnights,
in cups of coffee, In inches, in miles
in laughter in strife,
In Five hundred twenty five thousand
six hundred minutes
How do you measure a year in the life…”
~ Rent - Seasons of Life - Jonathan Larson~

     I’ve come to terms that the pain will never leave; I will carry this weighted ache for years to come. But I also know this ache will lessen, sustaining Gods grace. It is grace that enables us to serve and endure the trials of this life, and grace that will ultimately bring us to glory, bring us Home. Home to where Owen resides before us; where all of our pain will be healed. If I hope for anything in 2011, it is continued grace.

     There were so many absolutes this past year brought. So much that can not be undone; moments that will never be stolen; many blessing that I choose to be the center of this passing year. A life beautiful in all it’s mess, a life because of our love and faith. A boy perfect in every way to his parents, a blinding love I am thankful for. Owens' life has forever changed our core; his life may have changed yours too. In 2010 I became a mother, my husband a father, with our son a family - and this will always be.

May Twenty-Eleven be kinder and gentler to all of us, and may grace be with you.