To Be Blinded - A Brithday Wish

Ringing in my ear, I good little ditty to beam through the day:

 

“Oh, this is how it starts, lighting strikes the heart - It goes off like a gun, brighter than the sun

Oh, it could be the stars, falling from the sky - Shining how we want, brighter than the sun…”

My Dear sweet, sweet boy, today is so bright I am nearly blinded - sun, snow, love, memories a mix of culprits pulling at my heart strings this day of labor . As the sun streams in from the roof a top, I squint from the bright sunlight reflecting off the snow. It is cold; cold, cold, cold! Yet today is bright and warm with memories of your arrival three years ago. Happy Birthday Owen. I squint some more on my drive into work, fighting back the prick of tears welled up behind my eyelids. I miss you something terrible.

 

Writing today brings me both pain and peace. It serves as a reminder that you are real, you lived and you were here. I held you, we love you, it was not all a dream. You are every bit a part of me today, as you were for those nine months inside my belly and the four months you fought so hard to be with us. You are still my son, every day.

I speak your name often. I find myself day-dreaming of what our life would be like today, especially with your little sister to love after. She will know you, in her own way. Your mache heart marked with your hand and foot print hangs from the light in her nursery. Her favorite thing to do is to touch it. An absolute must upon waking or entering and leaving the room. Her tiny body outstretched – she gleams and wiggles and giggles until she can grasp it - and then squeals with delight. It’s those moments I feel most complete – and not. All together now – it will be some time for that, for us all to be healed and in the Lords light. I promise to make good of that time though, my sweet boy. I promise.

 

You are every bit of my heart that loves so strongly. Not only for you, but because of you. It makes me happy to know that I/we are not alone . Your memory lives on in the hearts and minds of others as well. It’s that realization that makes today even more special, more bearable, more bright.

 

We will continue to make this day, your day – filled with positive vibes into the world. So others may be blinded by such love and light – if even for a day. Shine on my, boy shine on.

And the song plays on…

 

“I never seen it, but I found this love, I'm gonna feed it

You better believe I'm gonna treat it

Better than anything I've ever had

'Cause you're so damn beautiful.."

~ COLBIE CAILLAT - BRIGHTER THAN THE SUN LYRICS ~

 

Be kind today all, find something good and share it with the world around you, for Owen's day.

Love the Carpenter Family