What Fall Brings
September was particularly hard for us. Missing our six-month old son and realizing we have many more of these benchmark dates ahead of us without him. October I think the shock begin to wear – as I found myself crying in an aisle as I passed the cutest little infant dinosaur costume. My first public breakdown.  It was another date wondering what Owens’ life would be like today, I imagine there will be many more. There are so many emotions that go along with the death of a child and being a surviving parent.  We are the ones alive, left behind with grief and devastation all the while having to live life, care for our daily responsibilities and watch the world continue to turn around us. It’s like having a second full-time job, as if we’re leading two lives – it is hard work! There is a small part of me that feels relief (for lack of a better word) that we are able to continue on with our lives and stay busy (busy hands=busy mind). Then there is the part of me that just doesn’t want to go out in the world and walk in these shoes I can not take off.  I have two choices, I can shut myself in from the world around me or I can wake-up with my ugly shoes and wear them out in the world and honor our son and try and make a difference in others lives.
Gordy and I are each working on projects to fulfill this and hope to share them with you soon. As we try to navigate our new life together there are times we are very much alone – and some days I’m OK with that. Other days acts of kindness remind us we are never alone. Be it through a card, a call or an anonymous parcel left on our door-step. God has blessed as with great friends and family. We are learning it’s OK to grieve and there is no time limit.
Each day we strive to  make it brighter in lieu if bitter