Why 8 is great........

...Owen was born on March 8th

Both his sisters initial due dates were January 8th 

Infinity symbol turned is...wait for...all together now, 8! 

Snow on March 8th (ok not always great)

Sister "Just 10 more minutes mommy", No, "Okay 8??" - It's like she knows

He was healed in the arms of our Savior on July 8th 

Rainy July  8th days

The greatest promise ~ Romans 8:28...

"And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose."~

     This verse, this promise,  above all others has helped me to continue to trust God through this process of grief. Life in general really, see it, right there in the verse that "all things".  Grief, 

mommy guilt, fear, current terrible events in this world, infidelity, pain, infertility, sickness. That what ever the "thing" may be for you, that through Him it will turn out for good. I have to believe this, I hope you do too.

 Great things are coming for us, trust in Him, love Him as He loves you, be purposeful.

Make it great in 8 - Things to do to celebrate Owens life over the next eight days:

Find eight great/good things in your life to celebrate. Write those down and re-visit over the next year. I promise you have more then eight! I also ask that you perform eight acts of kindness: send a card, give a smile, exhibit great patience with your children, perform an unexpected task/chore, buy your co-workers coffee (liquid life line) etc. It doesn't need to be a grand gesture (like patience - its.so.hard.) - sometimes the smallest gesture helps those that are fighting their biggest battles. Smile. Celebrate. Be Kind. Love another.

 Sending birthday love to our Warrior. Love you infinity sweet boy

Come rain or shine, I am thankful – always thankful

I am waiting on the rain today. It always seems to come, sometimes only a sprinkle or a spit – it’s fallen now for six years on this very day, the 8th of July. Six years, that seems like it should feel forever ago. Reviewing the forecast last night I go to bed thinking it’s not happening this year. No rain. Just heat and clouds.

Good day to turn on the sprinklers and watch the girls run….and off to sleep I drift.

 The morning arrives before I'm ready for it. Sweet little Ilah girl has snuck into our bed in the night and she is poking at me “maahhh-ma… maahhh-ma…you ahh’wake?” she whispers less than an inch from my face. I try and snuggle her back to sleep, she wipes off my kisses, laughs wildly and teases me “yuck” she giggles – “Me watch shows?” Too often I fear I give into her request and with one-eye-open I let her lead me out to the living room and turn on Super-Why; just so I can lie in bed for just a few-more-minutes and try to will away the exhaustion that will pull at my heels for the rest of my day.

 Then it’s off to our daily routine (the short version): Coffee for momma (lots and lots of coffee), dressing and brushing – I must mention how awesome it is that Avis Rose insists on doing this all on her own now! Morning drop-off or prep for daddy day, day at the office (more coffee), working momma guilt, pick-up, dinner, chores, play-time, baths, books and off to bed. Then not sleeping, because one of the littles won’t sleep… they take turns now – how thoughtful (smile).

 Our days have a constant and predictable rhythm, along with the a few crazy beats. You know the usual ups and downs with toddlers. We have our super-terrific-absolutely-perfect happy days then there is the epic toddler public meltdowns that send me hiding in the bathroom to eat chocolate days. Our girls are happy and healthy and run about with a carefree spirit that fills my cup over! This routine, this “normalcy” we have been blessed with makes the reality of everything that happened six years ago seem like nothing more than a really bad dream. 

 I am fully awake now, he was not a dream. Our loss is still very real today. Even though it may not be obvious to others, Owen is still part of our daily routine. For he is why I awake every morning smothering Avis and Ilah with kisses and I constantly tell them “I love you more!” He is why when I am running late and the girl’s bat-a-lash I stop in my hurriedness to meet a need. He is why I don't mind that my house is in a constant state of disorder. He is why watching my husband father our daughters makes my heart want to burst with joy. He is why listening to my girls play and laugh (and even fight) together is the very best part of my day, and above all he is the reason why I pray for patience with my children and thank God I get to be so exhausted All.The.Time. 

Owen is also one of the reasons at the end of our busy day, when I want nothing more to drop this routine, sleep and just give-up, I don’t. I don’t stop missing him. I don’t stop myself from crying on the days I need to let it out. I don’t hide his life from his sisters – or anyone really. I don’t apologize for my grief – it’s a long journey – one that I can live with. I don’t stop loving my family deeply. I don’t stop wondering what it would be like to raise-up three children. Most importantly I don’t stop turning to God and seeking His help.

Tonight when I check on our sleeping girls, with one still in the crib that was intended for him first, I am certain I will fight back tears – but I will also be thankful. Thankful for our daily routine. Thankful that his short life made me want nothing more than to better wife and mother.  Thankful for all the wonderful friends and family that he has united around us through these years and thankful for the rain today from 2:42 pm to 3:03. It rained hard – it was sideways – it was remarkable.

 Heaven sent – thank you baby boy, we miss you too!

FIVE

He is five today.

When you become a parent your perspective changes, your focus shifts to this new beautiful life. Birthdays become less about yours and more about theirs. Yet as a mother their birthdays are very much about you on many levels, but we tend to keep that in the background to not over-shadow their special day. We remember this day of labor, the excitement and fear, the pain that is easily overcome by the joy of seeing your child for the first time. There are so many memories ingrained, and every year it all rushes back. You become at awe of how fast another year has pushed between this initial date. You smile a lot that day and might even cry, just a little, because your baby is not a baby. Ah, but they always will be.

It is no different for me, even in death, I celebrate Owen's life. I may not have five years of milestones to look back on, but I still have all the motherly memories that seem so fresh: sounds, scents, sights, emotions. There will not be a big party with family and gifts, yet we celebrate in our own way. Our children are our gifts on this day, always.

He is five today.

We make our annual trip to the cemetery, to release five brightly colored birthday balloons. I imagine that is what Owen might have liked. I picked out the most colorful cupcakes and flowers to marry it all together. Let us be bright today, let us make a week of it. Our ride is lively, not at all sullen. Ilah May blows raspberries and hums along with the vibration of the car as Avis Rose laughs at her little sister. I close my eyes and take it in, these sweet giggles spill into my heart along with a warm strong hand to hold; Thank you God for my family for grace to endure. Though my passenger of grief rides alongside me as we make our way to the cemetery it is laugher and love that resonates.

He is five today.

And to the heavens we send our love, our laughter, our bright balloons. Owen is five today, in the arms of our Lord.

              Happy Birthday Owen Gordon, be bright sweet boy! Love Mom, Dad and Sissy's

I encourage you to find five things this week to be thankful for. Even on the darkest days, He brings us light. There is good in every day. Remind your children of this, share with them the joy you find this week.

Picture Perfect...

I don’t think I slept a wink last night, hovering over the girls with a constant unshakable anxiety that these past eight days have brought to the forefront.  If you are here reading this, you know why. I thank you for checking in on me and my family; for your continued support, prayers and  love uplifts us. You have in your own way carried some of this burden too. Some of you have held us as we wept; you may have done the same perhaps alongside us or on the other side of the screen reading into our lives.  Many of you have reached out to us, be it a short note via social media, a card, a knowing smile, a hand squeeze or ears willing to listen to me say his name so often you no-longer blink, as if he never left us. True friends and loving family we are grateful God has kept you in our lives.  

This past weekend we gathered with immediate family to remember Owen, releasing balloons to the heavens, thankful for his short time with us. It was a surprisingly relaxing day enjoying the sun in good company. As I flip through pictures on my camera my heart is filled with the faces smiling back at me. My husband, our girls – loving Avis’ crazy messy hair, sweet little cousins dashing in and out of the frame so full of life’s zest we cannot contain them splashing along the beach. Each of you unknowingly served as rescue from my anxiety that day...for a few hours the air was light. I searched for a family picture to take account of the day, they all seem so flawed. It’s not what you might think, it’s not that obvious: eyes squinting from the sun, everyone looking in a different directions, toddler fussing, baby sleeping, winks, wiggles and giggles – no this is normal, this is everyday messy perfection. Those are moments I can't get enough of,even when in the moment I may not realize it. Instead what I notice most is what is missing. All I see is that Owen is not in any frame. I will never have a complete family picture. Outwardly our family of five will always appear to be four – this flaw will always poke at my heart. And yet it's as it should be,according to His plan.

Today I invite you to remember our sweet boy. Pick a day this week to let go of any anxiety, put away any doubt or worries that others my see a flaw. Instead sit with your family  without distractions and just watch and listen and enjoy your picture perfect moments. They go by too fast.

 

Four Years of Wonder

Four years old, that is how old Owen would have been today. The years keep adding up against me, pulling me further and faster away from the day I brought Owen into this world. Years filled with cherished memories, grief, great joy, new additions to our family and constant thoughts of what-might-have-been. Four years, can you believe it! Most days I cannot wrap my head around it; we should be parenting three sweet peas ages 4,2, and 2 months.

These days of mine are filled with love, sweet giggles, new coos, piles of dirty laundry, and not enough time.  On the surface I appear to be a mommy like so many. Exhausted with messy hair and a breast milk stained shirt while stepping OUCH! on toys sporadically scattered about by our toddler; tired yet eager and looking forward to the rewards tomorrow will bring. However just beyond the surface of what you see there is something invisible, a constant wonder. With so much to do how does one sneak time away to think of what-might-have-been, but I do. I do with every one of those laughs and butterfly kisses, with new words that seem to drip out of Avis Rose like honey and the ridiculous infectious smiles that Ilah May flashes that seem so stretched that I contemplate having to take her to a masseuse to relax those scrumptious cheeks of hers. I can’t help myself, I always wonder how today could be brighter with their big brother here.

Most days I wonder in smiles and other days through tears. Today I will  wonder what would we be doing for his birthday? The cake, the theme, what would his “big” gift be from his Daddy and I? Would he have been able to blow out his candles or would he still be on a ventilator? Would his sisters champion around him and or rival?  For all the questions I hold there are two truths I know. One: Owen would have been much different than the average four year old, but he would be here and embraced for his differences. That is what I long for most, his presence in lieu of absence, especially on days like today. And two: All the hopes and dreams I had for him has been replaced with wondering; what-might-have-been is all I have left now. 

So beneath the surface I will continue to wonder and speculate about what it might have been like to raise up three children in our nest; a big brother and two little sisters, to watch them grow up together through the trials and tribulations of this life. I can smile at my wonder, even though it will never be.  I can wonder all the while living, learning and loving the family before me. I can be grateful for what my arms can hold and for what they once held. I can remember him, and that because of him I am a mother of three.

I ask that you remember too. Today is Owens Birthday celebrate his life. Celebrate your family and be especially kind to others today for you never know what invisible struggle lies just beyond the surface.

 

Happy Birthday Owen, we love you dear boy!

Today & Every Other Day

 

 

Today starts like any other day, dragging myself out of bed to run in and check on Avis for the millionth time since she fell asleep. Holding my breath as I tip-toe in her room and back out – quiet as a mouse. Feewww, I made it. Our morning routine begins as most do with a toddler, showers, breakfast, lunches, dressing etc. all in the attempt to appear you have it all-together and so on. Then on to the waking routine and the stealing of as many morning snuggles as we can gather, so we may get through our day before we rush off to the office. At least that is how it goes for me. Then of course I have guilt that rides along with me on my way to work every day, yes there is that. Today is just like every other morning, except today it is not every other day. Today grief joins me on my way. This passenger has never really left – I continue to get craftier at disguising it as the years pass. I have to convince myself all the way in “do not go to the bathroom to cry today, Do-Not-Do-It”. But I know at some point I will break for it is a given.

I still count every day, not a loud, but subconsciously I know how long it’s been since I held our Owen last. Three years since I breathed in his scent and starred into those sweet brown eyes. Three years since the Dr’s words pierced me with such pain. Three years still seems just like days ago. Every new and wonderful milestone that meets us with his little sister, I can’t help to think what-might-have-been. I keep tabs on my friends and families little ones that were born around the same time as Owen; truly happy and excited to see what they are doing now at the age of three. I am always at wonder and awe of them, their newness to the world. Then I ponder how different it would be for our family with both Owen and Avis to chase after. I daydream about that often. While our daughter was in daycare I couldn’t help to smile when I would see displays of sibling adoration by the sweet peas that mimicked the age of ours. It was always followed by the intense fear that I was going to break down and start sobbing knowing our daughter will never know the love of a big brother and vice-versa. It’s those daily double-edged emotions that serve as reminder that my family will never be complete on this earth.

 

Shortly after the birth of Avis I was asked, if having her made life better/easier without Owen, my answer was simple and honest – No. Don’t get me wrong, there is much joy in our life, and much to be thankful for. Joy attributed by both of our children, but joy can and does exist with great grief. That’s my life and I can handle God’s will. Because for whatever reason He believes I can. And so I go on, focusing up on what is before me: a wonderful, loving, strong and faithful husband, an adorable, sassy, snuggly and growing little girl, both of which overfill my cup – and a sweet strong little warrior of a son whose time here with me/us was much too short. I believe strongly our past shapes our future. Owen will always be the reason I continue forward, it’s okay to look back and hold fast to his memory, it is okay that today is not every other day, it is okay to make multiple trips to the ladies room and re-apply water-proof mascara. It is all going to be okay, we can move forward without losing sight of our past.

As the day winds down and I race off to scoop up my little peanut, I will hold her tighter today and smoother her with kisses to try and make up for the years I have not been able to dote on her brother. I will race around the house making dinner, reading books, dancing wildly, giving baths, changing diapers – trying to hold it together and plan head for the day to come, just as I do every other day. All the while in the back of my mind I know differently, my heart knows differently. On the outside it is just another Monday, inside it never will be. It is the 8^th of July, with many more to come.

Sweet boy my love for you continues to grow each day, just as it does for your father and sister. You have been a seed of strength and faith in my life and I will continue to grow in the years to come because of you. Love to the heavens, love on the eighth. Love you , love you always.

 

To Be Blinded - A Brithday Wish

Ringing in my ear, I good little ditty to beam through the day:

 

“Oh, this is how it starts, lighting strikes the heart - It goes off like a gun, brighter than the sun

Oh, it could be the stars, falling from the sky - Shining how we want, brighter than the sun…”

My Dear sweet, sweet boy, today is so bright I am nearly blinded - sun, snow, love, memories a mix of culprits pulling at my heart strings this day of labor . As the sun streams in from the roof a top, I squint from the bright sunlight reflecting off the snow. It is cold; cold, cold, cold! Yet today is bright and warm with memories of your arrival three years ago. Happy Birthday Owen. I squint some more on my drive into work, fighting back the prick of tears welled up behind my eyelids. I miss you something terrible.

 

Writing today brings me both pain and peace. It serves as a reminder that you are real, you lived and you were here. I held you, we love you, it was not all a dream. You are every bit a part of me today, as you were for those nine months inside my belly and the four months you fought so hard to be with us. You are still my son, every day.

I speak your name often. I find myself day-dreaming of what our life would be like today, especially with your little sister to love after. She will know you, in her own way. Your mache heart marked with your hand and foot print hangs from the light in her nursery. Her favorite thing to do is to touch it. An absolute must upon waking or entering and leaving the room. Her tiny body outstretched – she gleams and wiggles and giggles until she can grasp it - and then squeals with delight. It’s those moments I feel most complete – and not. All together now – it will be some time for that, for us all to be healed and in the Lords light. I promise to make good of that time though, my sweet boy. I promise.

 

You are every bit of my heart that loves so strongly. Not only for you, but because of you. It makes me happy to know that I/we are not alone . Your memory lives on in the hearts and minds of others as well. It’s that realization that makes today even more special, more bearable, more bright.

 

We will continue to make this day, your day – filled with positive vibes into the world. So others may be blinded by such love and light – if even for a day. Shine on my, boy shine on.

And the song plays on…

 

“I never seen it, but I found this love, I'm gonna feed it

You better believe I'm gonna treat it

Better than anything I've ever had

'Cause you're so damn beautiful.."

~ COLBIE CAILLAT - BRIGHTER THAN THE SUN LYRICS ~

 

Be kind today all, find something good and share it with the world around you, for Owen's day.

Love the Carpenter Family

Beautifully Broken

 Your absence has gone through me like thread through a needle.
Everything I do is stitched with its color. 

~ W. S. Merwin

Two years ago today I met the most precious little boy. He was born beautiful and broken in all the ways God intended him to be, perfect. Thankfully matched to us, his parents; Owen’s broken heart made ours love him and life that much more.

We miss him today as much as we did yesterday; there is no fill for the void he leaves. Though a part of us will always be empty there is so much more of us that is very full. Full of joyous memories engrained because a child is yours forever; earth bound or heavenly – they give us parents light and purpose.

March 8th will always be the most beautiful celebrated day for us. It is our first day of being parents, our first son, our first of so many more great reflections. As we continue weaving this blanket of life we are forever grateful that Owen was, is and continues to be a part of the thread.

Happy 2nd Birthday Owen We love you so! ~ Mom, Dad and your little sis Avis Rose

Please celebrate with us today and commemorate Owens life by:

•Being positive today; to yourself and others

•If you are a parent be the light your children blessed you with– enjoy your family today and have cake!

•Light a candle for Owen

•Send Owen a birthday balloon to the heavens (earth friendly balloons please)

•Offer up a prayer and thank God for all the good in today –because there is a lot to be thankful for

Thank you for visiting our page today, may your day be filled with peace and love.

This Little Light of Ours

Dearest Owen ~

     Our days without you are long. Trying to grasp the time that continues to slip from us, it’s been a year? There are days I sit so still as life seems to move like spinning cups around me – dizzy. There are days I wish the world would back spin; stuck in reverse just long enough for another day. I long to go back to that walk; our first walk together, looking up at me your father guiding us through bright hallways - peaceful. To go back and feel that hope again in lieu of darkened paths. Your eyes so bright and wondrous holding you heart to heart, letting you go has torn me so - broken. In these days that seem so dark and isolated we have managed to allow the light to guide us. This little light your light Owen, God’s gift to us your shining love that encompasses us with His – grace.

     We are forever grateful for your life. We are so proud of you and how hard you fought to meet us and be a part of our life for four months – warrior. Because of you we know what it is to truly love unconditionally – agape. To speak kinder, to be more accepting, to trust in the Lord, to live our lives so we too my be healed from this world – inspired. We have faith that we will pick-up where we left off walking towards hope, perhaps hand in hand this time in His light.

We love and miss you sweet boy ~ Mom & Dad

"For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish, but have eternal life." (John 3:16)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

To those of you that continue to bless our lives in prayer and thought, we thank you. It has been a trying year and having your support has aided us greatly, even if it is done in silence. We are still very new to the grieving process and though we are managing to conceal it better each day, it does not mean it has depleted. Don’t let us fool you we are broken, broken and hopeful. Accepting that your child has been healed doesn’t make you hurt less, grieve less and certainly not cry less. So we ask that you continue to pray that God will continue to work in our hearts and that we continue to be inspired by the life He blessed us with – Owen forever.

We hope you will join us in remembering Owen. One year ago today, July 8th, Owens light went dark from this world. Yet, it continues to burn within us. Please light a candle for him today and remember his life - be light today and shine.

In the presence of immediate family we will be gathering this Saturday to release five dozen butterfly’s for Owen and thanking God for the gift of his life. Thanking God for how in the span of his short life, he touched so many others and how He used Owen to change lives, to encourage parents to hug their children a little tighter, for strangers to come together, to be kinder and gentler in this world, to love – blessings counted.

Celebrate Life Love & Hope

Today we remember our warrior fearfully and wonderfully made.

Dearest Owen ~ Has it really been a year? A year since we first met face-to-face; before you where whisked away I spoke to you, “Hello my sweet boy” you opened your eyes “Hhh he opened his eyes!”.Your father was beaming.A moment so perfect looking back at each-other, I kissed you quickly and you were rushed away. Those eyes , those sweet little eyes... I love you too.

Today is Owens’ first birthday. Though we cannot celebrate it with him here on earth, we still choose to honor his life and all it has blessed us with. We ask that you please join us in remembering our first born on this special day by leaving him a birthday greeting here or say it aloud to the heavens. There are many ways in which you can remember him with us if you wish to share in the celebration of life, love and hope. We would love it if you could do one of the following or whatever your heart-strings guide you to do today:

•Leave Owen a Birthday message or tell us about the Love & Hope he has brought to you

•Light a candle at 5:10; time of birth

•Release a balloon; take a picture and send it to us

•Send good energy, be positive and kind today to yourself and others

•Offer up a prayer and thank God for all the good in today

•Perform an act of kindness, a labor of love—and do it with Owen in mind (thank you for all the hats. we will be delivering some today to the NICU)

Gordy and I thank you for your continued support and prayers today and every day for our family.

“When great souls die, our reality, bound to them, takes leave of us. Our minds formed and informed by their radiance, fall away…..And when great souls die, after a period, peace blooms, slowly and always irregularly. Our senses, restored, never to be the same, whisper to us. They existed. We can be. Be and be better. For they existed”  ~ Maya Angelou

Five Hundred Twenty Five Thousand Six Hundred Minutes

Owens Ice Star - Lake Michigan Shoreline 12/25/2010 ~ With Love Mom & Dad

     Twenty-Ten brought great sorrow, many tears that will seep into the New Year, and memories that I will forever cling to. For no new ones will be made. Believing for a moment in ever-afters, a bit of sci-fi, and movie magic, let us say I was visited by a future self. Forewarning me of the year I was to face. I can say, without doubt, I would have endured it all over again to share those four months with our Owen. Every minute with him was a counted blessing. In miracles, in peeping eyes, in diaper changes, and cute hats - in pinky holds, in a smile or two, in endless hours of snuggles, and blessings - this is how I measure my year.

“Five hundred twenty five thousand
six hundred minutes
Five hundred twenty five thousand
moments so dear
Five hundred twenty five thousand
six hundred minutes
How do you measure, measure a year
In daylight, in sunsets, in midnights,
in cups of coffee, In inches, in miles
in laughter in strife,
In Five hundred twenty five thousand
six hundred minutes
How do you measure a year in the life…”
~ Rent - Seasons of Life - Jonathan Larson~

     I’ve come to terms that the pain will never leave; I will carry this weighted ache for years to come. But I also know this ache will lessen, sustaining Gods grace. It is grace that enables us to serve and endure the trials of this life, and grace that will ultimately bring us to glory, bring us Home. Home to where Owen resides before us; where all of our pain will be healed. If I hope for anything in 2011, it is continued grace.

     There were so many absolutes this past year brought. So much that can not be undone; moments that will never be stolen; many blessing that I choose to be the center of this passing year. A life beautiful in all it’s mess, a life because of our love and faith. A boy perfect in every way to his parents, a blinding love I am thankful for. Owens' life has forever changed our core; his life may have changed yours too. In 2010 I became a mother, my husband a father, with our son a family - and this will always be.

May Twenty-Eleven be kinder and gentler to all of us, and may grace be with you.

Heavier Things
A day of thanks was far from it. I tried, I truly did. On top of being ill the day just seemed so…… heavy.  A broken heart and empty arms consumed me. Why today? It was only Thanksgiving. Oh my, Christmas is around the corner. As I lounged around in my pajamas my husband handed me the “Black Friday” ads. Not that I had planned on going out in that mess, but I still wanted to see what I was going to miss out on. That’s what did it. I realized I should be planning a shopping list, hitting the deals, trimming the tree and all things babies first Christmas. The tears came, streaming, heavy, endless.

Can we just escape the holidays? This makes me sad and a little disappointed in myself. My mood has been thick through today, and than something happened. The moon, well it happens every-night, bright shiny thing in the dark sky.Yep, that's what I'm talking about - you've seen it I'm sure. Well unless you live on the moon. But this was different, the night sky was cloudy, looking up there was a luminous ring around the moon where the clouds had seperated forming a perfect "O". The colors where amazing, a hazy orange with bright flecks of white light and deep purple clouds kind enough to avoid my view. It was beautiful. My light I needed to see to awake my inner Positive Polly - good night Negative Nelly you need your rest. I feel lighter already.

What Fall Brings
September was particularly hard for us. Missing our six-month old son and realizing we have many more of these benchmark dates ahead of us without him. October I think the shock begin to wear – as I found myself crying in an aisle as I passed the cutest little infant dinosaur costume. My first public breakdown.  It was another date wondering what Owens’ life would be like today, I imagine there will be many more. There are so many emotions that go along with the death of a child and being a surviving parent.  We are the ones alive, left behind with grief and devastation all the while having to live life, care for our daily responsibilities and watch the world continue to turn around us. It’s like having a second full-time job, as if we’re leading two lives – it is hard work! There is a small part of me that feels relief (for lack of a better word) that we are able to continue on with our lives and stay busy (busy hands=busy mind). Then there is the part of me that just doesn’t want to go out in the world and walk in these shoes I can not take off.  I have two choices, I can shut myself in from the world around me or I can wake-up with my ugly shoes and wear them out in the world and honor our son and try and make a difference in others lives.
Gordy and I are each working on projects to fulfill this and hope to share them with you soon. As we try to navigate our new life together there are times we are very much alone – and some days I’m OK with that. Other days acts of kindness remind us we are never alone. Be it through a card, a call or an anonymous parcel left on our door-step. God has blessed as with great friends and family. We are learning it’s OK to grieve and there is no time limit.
Each day we strive to  make it brighter in lieu if bitter

Today is brought to you by the letter "O"

OK so I may be getting ahead of myself a bit, at least alphabetically. Since it's my first post I don't have to adhere to any rules, not today.


 "O" is for October and Owen. Today, the 15th is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day (read President Reagans' Proclamation here). We are particpating by lighting a candle for Owen and all angel babies whose light conitnue to illuminate our hearts. We invite you all to do the same.


It is our hope that you will continue to support us as we celebrete Owen's life, for he is and will always be our child. We are still parents, grief does not change that. Please, never be afraid to speak is name, share a memory, ask us a question, laugh and cry with us. 


Love & Miss our little Warrior!

A luminous light remains where a beautiful soul has passed - Antione Boveua


See Owens' and other angel baby names illuminated by Carly Dudley's tribute art. His name is towards the top of the butterfly 5 antenne.Thank you Carly